Living and Loving Yourself Now and Not Only When You Reach Your Thin Dream!

With the media pushing the thin image in our society are we putting our lives on hold until we reach that thin criteria? Do you put off living until you fit into a certain size or hit a number on the scale?

This is something that I have been considering a lot lately. Why I felt that being fat means waiting to live. Am I missing out on different aspects of my life because I believe that I need to lose weight before I can participate? I know with family vacations planned this Summer, bathing suits are in my near future. I find myself thinking that I need to be a certain size to enjoy this vacation and wear that perfect bathing suit. I mean how absurd is that when you really look at such a statement? Unfortunately, I find that I do this with every big event. The push to be a certain size by the time the event arrives seems to go hand in hand with the planning concept with me. I have been having this moment of self reflection in an effort to understand why I did the Kimkins diet and why did I fall for the false marketing of kimmer and affiliates. The marketing was like the siren call for many who want to find the way to reach their thin dreams and fast. I also have been considering why I continue to have the- diet mindset -instead of a -way of life change- mindset. Then the big reason I need to consider the appeal of the thin dream is the fact that I have a 7 year old daughter that is a mirror of me and I don’t want her to reflect this back in years to come.

I stumbled upon the words from a fellow blogger while considering the reason that my mind chants not until I am thin, instead of now- just as I am! The blogger from the shapely prose did a post on the Fantasy of Being Thin

Because, you see, the Fantasy of Being Thin is not just about becoming small enough to be perceived as more acceptable. It is about becoming an entirely different person – one with far more courage, confidence, and luck than the fat you has. It’s not just, “When I’m thin, I’ll look good in a bathing suit”; it’s “When I’m thin, I will be the kind of person who struts down the beach in a bikini, making men weep.” See also:

  • When I’m thin, I’ll have no trouble finding a partner/reinvigorating my marriage.
  • When I’m thin, I’ll have the job I’ve always wanted.
  • When I’m thin, I won’t be depressed anymore.
  • When I’m thin, I’ll be an adventurous world traveler instead of being freaked out by any country where I don’t speak the language and/or the plumbing is questionable.
  • When I’m thin, I’ll become really outdoorsy.
  • When I’m thin, I’ll be more extroverted and charismatic, and thus have more friends than I know what to do with.

Et cetera, et cetera. Those are examples from my personal Fantasy of Being Thin

She the goes on to say why letting go of those thin fantasies may be difficult.

Overcoming The Fantasy of Being Thin might be the hardest part of making it all the way into fat acceptance-land. And that might just be why I’d pushed that part of the process out of my memory: it fucking sucked. Because I didn’t just have to accept the size of my thighs; I had to accept who I am, rather than continuing to wait until I magically became the person I’d always imagined being. Ouch.That is, of course, a pretty normal part of getting older. You start to realize that yeah, this actually is it, and although you can still try enough new things to keep anyone busy for two lifetimes, you’re pretty much stuck with a basic context. There are skills, experiences, and material things you will almost certainly never have, period. It’s a challenge for all of us to understand that accepting this fact of life does not necessarily mean cutting off options or giving up dreams, but simply — as in the proverbial story about the creation of the David — chipping away all that is not you. But for a fat person, it can be even harder, because so many fucking sources encourage us to believe that inside every one of us is “a thin person waiting to get out” — and that thin person is SO MUCH COOLER.


I have thought before that maybe I use the- not until I am thin, as an excuse to not fail at something or even a way to associate failure as not with them but with being fat, so I totally get what the blogger from the Shapely Prose was coming from in her thin fantasy. I agree that fat acceptance, for those that are fat, means also letting go of the idea that life is going to be so much better when they are thin. Yes, there will be improvement in some aspects of a person’s life but you will still have stress, your kids will still ignore your pleas to pick-up after themselves, the laundry will still pile up, your hair will still have a mind of its own, you will not be better at remembering jokes or names, traffic will still suck, and you will still have failures….So maybe you are as cool as you will ever be. Like the movie- Maybe this is as good as it gets! With that in mind- my focus is not only going to be eating healthy but living and loving myself now- just as I am- not as I hope to be. I can only hope that is what I see reflected back when my daughter mirrors me.

To find out more about the kimkins scam and how the kimkins diet is dangerous read the overview by Laura Dolson at about.com entitled –The Kimkins Diet Controversy .My blogroll also contains some wonderful blogs that cover the Kimkins scam and the pending class action lawsuit. If you want to learn what you can do to help then take a look at the weed pulling of articles that the blogger of Say “No” to Kimkins suggests in “Help Us Pull The Weeds”.

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Award Ceremony To Be Scheduled Soon!

gonads-award-blog.jpg

In my last post I noted the award that should be bestowed upon Heidi Diaz, the Kimmer, who is the founder of the kimkins diet and it appears that the case ceremony will be heard held in front of “your honor” in honor of Heidi Diaz. The sentencing ceremony may be long, but mug shots pictures will be immediately following the event.
It would be outstanding if Woman’s World would decide to cover the event and back story on how Heidi Diaz, the Kimmer, earned this award.
But there will be more coverage on this case ceremony. So check out the Riverside Court House documents and the other blogs on my blogroll.

Case watchKimkins Diet
HoneyBee’s Blog
I Am Not Ready To Make Nice with Kimkins

Cheerleader Award Given To The Kimmer- Heidi Diaz

Does Heid Diaz deserve an award for something that may be one of her greatest achievements? If you guessed lying I was not referring to that talent. The title gives it away…Cheerleading!…Give me a G…..

gonads75.jpg

I have reached the conclusion that Heidi Diaz, the Kimmer, must have been a former cheerleader for a team called the NADS. She would have been an excellent cheerleader too I might add, because Heidi has some of the biggest GO…NADS…I have ever heard. Heard tell of I should say.

I became acutely aware of her big GO-NADS when it was reported that she lied in her response to the California Attorney General’s office. A former member of Kimkins.com had contacted the Attorney General when they were unfairly banned from the website. The exKimkinette is also a member of the LCF boards, under the name Magicsmom, and she posted about receiving the letter from the AG. She then revealed that they also had included Heidi’s response as to why she, Magicsmom, was banned from Kimkins. Here is the post from LCF –
Low Carb Friends – View Single Post – Why the fascination with Kimmer? #13

Interesting what you find in your mailbox sometimes. I got a letter
from the Attorney General of California today. In it was a copy of the
response from Heidi about why she banned me. Oh my Lord!!!!! She gave
them a post that she took from HERE that was written AFTER I was
banned!!! Oh, I feel a letter coming on to the AG’s office. Attached
will be a screen print of the post they stole from HERE to use as their
excuse for banning me. When I find it, I’ll post the link to it. You
will see how laughable it is, because I say right in the thing that I
wrote it after I was banned. And they think THIS is a good response to
the AG? Heidi must have been hitting the Cap’n bottle the day she
cooked this up!

Magicsmom then shares the response that Kimmer had given the AG as to why she had to ban Magicsmom…..Dontcha know that Heidi claims she did it all for the other members y’all. Well, Bless Her Heart!

Low Carb Friends – View Single Post – Why the fascination with Kimmer? #13

She said to the AG the following: “Due to Ms. xxxx’s engaging in
malicious, disparaging, and false accusations within the forum area of
the website, she has been restricted from community discussion areas.
…….. Please see attached documentation of the comments made by Ms.
xxxx which was upsetting to other members and interfered with their
right to enjoy their membership.” Then she attached a screen print from
the administrative section of her website. This post of mine from LCF
on October 20th is pasted into their administrative page on my profile
and is the stated reason for my banning.

Low Carb Friends – View Single Post – Why the fascination with Kimmer? #13

Heidi didn’t send them a screen print from LCF. She copied the TEXT of my post to her own website, and edited it, I might add. She took out the part where I said I was posting for their benefit because I knew they were reading here. It was PASTED into the administrative section of KK as a description of the “private” reason I was banned. She LIED to the AG and told him I posted it at her site and it was “upsetting to other members and interfered with their right to enjoy their membership”. I didn’t post that at Kimkins and couldn’t have because I was banned. The AG’s office didn’t read it carefully, or they would have figured that out themselves.

……………..There is a slight problem with that. I wrote this post nearly two weeks AFTER I was banned. She lied to the AG and told him I posted this at HER forum.
Low Carb Friends – View Single Post – Why the fascination with Kimmer? #13

Then our buddy Rebel posts:

Is anybody having flashbacks of Sean Young’s character in Ace Ventura-Pet Detective? It has something to do with those gonads ya’ll were talking about the other night.

I was thinking the same thing Rebel! Well, not about Ace Ventura, good analogy, but I was thinking of the gall needed for such an act myself. Some would call it hutzpa, but we all know it takes a tremendous amount of audacity to do what Kimmer has done over the past few years. That and a lack of conscious has driven her to be a cheerleader when she would promote laxatives, encourage eating disorder behavior and lie about her weight loss.

Then Magicsmom breaks it down for us and note that the attorney handling the pending class action lawsuit has been given all the information!

……………………..The rub is in two issues:

1. The post she copied as the reason for my getting banned was written almost two weeks after they banned me. Oops, Heidi! The devil is in the details!

2. She lied to the AG and told them I posted it at her site. Wrong! She copied it from here! This is more than a faux pas. It is a deliberate attempt to mislead the Attorney General in their investigation. The last thing she wants is to admit to them she banned someone without cause.

I say that it could not have upset her members is because they never saw it unless they came here and read it. I have screen shots of my profile over at Kimkins proving my last post there was over a year before they banned me. Her goose is cooked! She copied a post from here written two weeks after she banned me and used it as her excuse for banning me, then lied to the AG and told them I posted it at her site. She is one piece of work.

Today I figured out how to use my Mom’s printer as a scanner, so it turns out it didn’t matter that DH forgot to take it with him. However, I figured that out late in the day, so I didn’t get a chance to go to the post office with it yet, but I’m sending it to John and to the AG through Priority Mail.

Ok, so once you can get over the sheer size of the GO-NADS that are needed to-one…lie to the AG and then two…think that you would get away with it, check out Mariasol’s blog, because she has a copy of the screen shot that Heidi sent to the AG. mariasol: Kimmer of Kimkins Lies to the Attorney General!

Now, after that I think you will agree that Heidi does deserve a Cheerleading award!

GO…………NADS!!! YAY, TEAM!!!

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Has Kimkins Caused You Harm?

If you purchased a membership in kimkins.com please take a moment to read the following:
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Harmed By Kimkins? Share Your Story on National TV

Have you experienced medical problems due to Kimkins?

Do you have any medically documented health issues related to the
Kimkins Diet?

Do you have some free time this weekend for an exciting opportunity to appear from the comfort of your home, on national television, in a prime time spotlight?

If you have suffered any of the following doctor verified medical conditions:

• Dizziness
• Nausea
• Muscle fatigue or weakness
• Heartbeat palpitations
• Moderate to severe hair loss
• Bone and joint pain
• Mental changes – irritability, forgetfulness, confusion
• Bowel complications/symptoms of laxative abuse

as a result of your experience with the Kimkins Diet, and would like this exciting opportunity to share your experiences with the public, please contact KimkinsonABC@gmail.com within the next 48 hours.

No travel will be required, an ABC crew will come to you to discuss your experience.

If you know of anyone who fits the above-mentioned medical criteria, please share this contact information with them for this important opportunity.

Update- ABC taped a show exposing the  fraudulent acts of Kimkins.com as well as the unsafe calorie level of the Kimkins diet, which uses 500 calories a day as a way to offer fast weight loss. Kimmer often compared this calorie level to that seen in gastric bypass surgery patients.

The taped show was first picked up and shown on the ABC show- Good Morning America. Check out the show posted on the GMA website here- Kimkins video.

Christin did a great job in her account of her Kimkins journey and I am glad that she was willing to offer her story to ABC.  The story could still be picked up by other ABC shows and the I would love to see 20/20 do a big segment based on the story.

After viewing the story you may also find the follow up article of interest and want to leave a comment.
ABC News: Online Diet Comes Under Scrutiny

Kimkins Diet- “Watch What You Eat When on Kimkins” Reads the Marketing, But Does Watching become An Obsession?

My last blog entry showed how daily laxative use was promoted by Kimmer/Heidi Diaz at Kimkins. There appears to be a fine line that is crossed while doing the Kimkins way of eating. So the question is are you participating in an eating disorder or diet

This question is important because many who have done the kimkins diet have reported that their relationship with food has become changed in a way, that food is something to fear, and many experience cycles of binging and purging or restriction. It can become a dieting without end for many. It doesn’t teach a new way of eating but a new method of abusing food.

An excerpt from the author, Jenny Byran of Channel 4 health, explores the concept of dieting without end in her discussion of anorexia and binging.

Few of the women who have shared their experiences with us intended to lose huge amounts of weight. Either they dieted because they were a little overweight and never came off the diet. Or they were afraid to eat normally in case they ballooned in size. Some never weighed themselves and were unaware of how thin they had become until it was too late. Others found calorie counting the only way they could take control of their lives.

Today, some recognise they have a problem and want very much to get better. A few have succeeded. Others live within rigid boundaries, barely maintaining a weight that will keep them alive….[…]……

Anorexia can also do permanent damage to many parts of the body, and this can start long before there is significant weight loss. At the very least, people who do not eat enough feel dizzy and cold, become confused and get stomach pains and constipation. Muscle weakness not only affects their mobility, it can affect internal muscles, such as those which control bladder and bowel movements, and may lead to incontinence

Young women with anorexia have hormonal changes which stop their periods and may make them infertile. These hormone changes may also make their bones brittle – a condition called osteoporosis. In healthy women, this doesn’t normally occur until after the menopause, but it can affect women with anorexia much earlier and more severely, leading to broken bones and disability.

Anorexia damages the blood and immune systems. So people become anaemic and find it hard to fight infection. In time, anorexia can lead to kidney failure and heart problems which can be fatal. Others just become so weak that they are killed by a relatively minor infection.

A growing proportion of women with anorexia use vomiting, laxatives and slimming pills to help reduce their weight and these can cause additional health problems

In today’s society almost every woman you talk to has been on a “diet” at some point in her life. So how can a diet change your relationship with food? I think when someone battling their weight achieves fast weight loss with little hunger, as seen with Kimkins, they become afraid to gain the weight back. But the problem is the only tool they have for losing weight is the one the diet taught them, which is technically starvation, abuse of laxatives and/or fasting.

Then the inner struggle begins. It becomes a toss up of gaining the weight back or continue the unhealthy lessons learned. The dieter hasn’t learned a healthy way of eating. Since the weight loss was achieved with the constant attention to the scale and “watching what they eat”, remember-each leaf of lettuce counts, a self-destructive obsession with food has been taught. The result is a cycle of binging and restricting, because the Kimkins diet lesson teaches, that one’s relationship with food is to avoid it, but when the body finally can’t any longer that is when the binging occurs. This is often followed by immense guilt and a determination to even eat less on the next cycle of restriction.

What’s a gal to do? I mean if you want to lose weight and get healthy, then how can you know when things are crossing into the realm of disorderly eating? If your way of eating is more like being on a rollercoaster of dieting and binging and one which takes you from being underweight to obese, then you need to rethink your way of eating. Are you using purging as a form of weight control? Do you use laxatives on a daily basis?

Here is a chart to review. Some of them may apply to you-
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source: disorderly eating

The next question for many may be what can I do to get help or what can I do to help? You can start by researching information and get reach out to get help at the websites listed below.

Another way to help is to stop Heidi and Kimkins from being allowed to teach people a dangerous method of weight control. This can be done by using your voice to spread the word about the dangers of this WOE. You can also become active in completing forms to various agencies. Click on my “help” tab above found here- HELP and by visiting Just say “No” to Kimkins for a list of how you can help.

To read more blog articles on disordered eating visit Kimkins Diet Review

“Kimkins Miracles Do Happen”- Reads The Affiliate Marketing Article for Kimkins.com

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Yesterday evening, while leaving comments at the various links that wildangel had posted, an affiliate “article” turned up. The article starts with the following-

“To those entire figure-concerned people who are frowning at the sight of their bulky abs and stomach- have you heard about Ms. Kimmer and her achievements? If you haven’t then, here is the surprise for you, she was the one who was able to lose more than 198 lbs in a single year, and she’s the one who actually shared her experience of her very own custom made diet which proved so amazingly successful- she is the founder of the Kimkins Low Carb Diet!”

The article was utilizing the same fraudulent claims that roped in the previous members of kimkins. But what really caught my eye was the title- “Kimkins Miracles Do Happen.” My first thought was sure, The Real Miracle is the Fact That No One Has Died From The Kimkins Diet?….Yet!
This is a concern that many of those aware of the Kimkins diet have been expressing- “It is a wonder no one has died from that diet”. It has been said in various ways but with the same tone of trepidation. We see the dangers of Kimkins, we read the posts of those doing the diet, we read the studies on the risks of a vLCD (very low calorie diet) and we pray that someone doesn’t die, before others are contemplating that these concerns could very well become a reality.

We need the various agencies to take note of the harm that Heidi Diaz’s advice can cause. Here are some of the posts where Kimmer/Heidi Diaz recommends daily stimulant laxative use. Note that many times it is not due to a member being constipated but expressing concerns over not losing weight.

A member asks:
Hi Kimmer,
I’ve been taking milk thistle for about 9 days and still not helping with making things move
I have 1000mg capsules and take once a day, should I take another later in the day?
I used a ex-lax type pill once and never again thank you…
If this doesn’t get me going I’m thinking of starting the MOM route…[…]…

Kimmer Responds:
If anybody is doing MoM, it needs to be a daily thing since Kimkins is low in fiber. If you take MoM and get “action”, then stop taking MoM, everything will begin backing up again and the scale will show a fake gain.
Are we going to be laxative addicts? No. Once you’re close to goal and begin adding back good higher fiber carbs (not Twinkies!), things will move on their own. Or maybe not? The market is chock full of laxatives and not everyone who’s buying them is doing low carb so there must be a serious constipation problem out there!
A reminder for dosage is take the maximum dose the first (and maybe second) night, then a 25% or 50% dose every night thereafter. It’s meant as a gentle reminder.

****************

A member asks:….[…]..I have read the other forum posts including the longish one by the moderator talking about the different kinds of laxatives, but I still dont really have a “plan” and need one.
Any help would be very much appreciated!

Kimmer responds:
Psyllium works by bulking and absorbs water. You might even see a temporary weight gain if it’s working as a “plug”.

I’d look into a stimulant laxative like epsom salts (blech!), Senakot or senna tea. Once you begin using a laxative you need to keep it up — otherwise you’re emptying the bowels and it will refill.
Kimkins is low in fiber (but in all fairness, the way most people eat isn’t anywhere near 30 grams of fiber a day anyway) so I suggest a 25-50% laxative dose every day to keep everything moving. I also take 4 milk thistle capsules (2 am, 2 pm) which has a natural laxative effect (but doesn’t produce instant results) and helps the liver.

*******************

A member asks:
is it necessary to be on something like MOM or should ou wait until there is a problem??

Kimmer responds:
XXXX, you know your body best. Kimkins or Kimmer Experiment have very little fiber and some people have potty problems. The MoM (or epsom salts) help. I’m not a fan of laxatives, but I think it’s more dangerous to have waste building up inside.
If you need “something” I recommend taking a regular dose for 2 days, then a 25% or 50% dose every day after that as a gentle helper

****************

A member asks: Today is Day 6 of Kimkins for me. I’ve been very dedicated and haven’t had any cheats. However, this morning the scale was up .6 lbs. Anyone have any idea why that might be? …[…]..

Kimmer Responds:
First, remember that everything weighs something before it’s eliminated. (potty)
Second, check whether you need potty help since our fiber is low.

Third, if you’re using any bulking/fiber laxatives that will slow you down.
Fourth, be sure of your calorie/carb counts, sauces, cuts of meat, skip DaVinci.

*************

A Member Asks:I woke up feeling bloated and yucky so I decided to do a fast for 3 days. I have done them before and love the feeling and of course, the results. When I finish my fast do you think I should move to the KE or go directly to Kimkins?[….]…
Kimmer Responds:
Honestly, I think I’d go with Kimkins and break your fast with small “veggie” servings, every 2-3 hours.
If your calories are still low (and veggies naturally are), there’s no “gain” … other than food waiting around to be processed (ewww!)
When I break, I start with maybe .5 cup of lightly steamed veggies (cabbage, snow peas, sprouts) and maybe a steamy bowl of chicken veggie soup for dinner. A mild laxative might be something to keep in mind, just to keep things moving

************
A Member asks:
Ok.. so I’m on day 4 of a water/diet soda fast and I get on the scale this morning, and I have GAINED a pound!!…[…]… I think possibly sleep deprivation might have something to do with it as well. I’ve been working alot of OT recently and I’ve been getting to bed at about 1:30am and then getting up at 5 am. I have not taken MOM for that reason…it would keep me up all night! I’m not going to give up yet, though..I’m going to take MOM tonight when I get home, and then once that’s over with, get a good night’s sleep. Any thoughts or opinions would be welcome though, because let me tell you, fasting for 4 days with no results is definately no fun.

Kimmer Responds:
XXXX, how’s “Potty” going? It’s impossible to be at 0 calories and not lose.

Sounds like a huge backup — or did you carb up before the fast? It’s a natural response to being deprived of food, but your body still has to process those carbs & deplete your liver.

Kimmer Responds again:

XXXX, if you (or anybody) takes MoM or other laxative, it has to be a daily dose.

If you take it once, clean everything out, the empty area will simply begin refilling again. All very low carb diets are low in fiber and the bowels slow down.

As you read the dangerous advice given by Kimmer, remember that this is just a small fraction of the recommended laxative abuse that can be found on the site. It is just a small glimpse of the disregard, that Kimmer shows for the potential health risks in her doling out advice.

This issue goes beyond the parameters of consumers who have been scammed. Yes, the members of Kimkins we scammed by Kimmer’s fraudulent marketing and I was one of the ones who fell for it too. But the effort of stopping Kimkins.com is not about reimbursement of the $60.00 that members paid for their Kimkins membership. The ultimate goal is to get federal agencies involved in order to stop kimkins.com. The ones fighting the fight are also using their voices to give notice to the potential victims, who may be anyone’s -Mother, sister, daughter, father, brother or son- that this is a dangerous route to take when trying to lose weight.

In fact- It is a Kimkins Miracle That No One Has Died From The Kimkins Diet?….Yet

If you bought a membership to Kimkins.com then please sign up for the Kimkins Lawsuit because we want Kimmer to answer to her actions!

image from- miracle stories
HoneyBee’s Blog
I Am Not Ready To Make Nice with Kimkins

The Fight Against Kimmer and Kimkins Needs You!

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Many of us have been discussing how do we achieve our final goal of getting Kimkins.com to become an error page? How do we get more people to file out the forms, write the letters and get involved.

The pending class action lawsuit is a tremendous step in the right direction but will it get us to that final destination of a 404 Error page when a person tries to log into the kimkins website? If everyone would take a moment and review the steps needed to file a complaint:

 

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