With the media pushing the thin image in our society are we putting our lives on hold until we reach that thin criteria? Do you put off living until you fit into a certain size or hit a number on the scale?
This is something that I have been considering a lot lately. Why I felt that being fat means waiting to live. Am I missing out on different aspects of my life because I believe that I need to lose weight before I can participate? I know with family vacations planned this Summer, bathing suits are in my near future. I find myself thinking that I need to be a certain size to enjoy this vacation and wear that perfect bathing suit. I mean how absurd is that when you really look at such a statement? Unfortunately, I find that I do this with every big event. The push to be a certain size by the time the event arrives seems to go hand in hand with the planning concept with me. I have been having this moment of self reflection in an effort to understand why I did the Kimkins diet and why did I fall for the false marketing of kimmer and affiliates. The marketing was like the siren call for many who want to find the way to reach their thin dreams and fast. I also have been considering why I continue to have the- diet mindset -instead of a -way of life change- mindset. Then the big reason I need to consider the appeal of the thin dream is the fact that I have a 7 year old daughter that is a mirror of me and I don’t want her to reflect this back in years to come.
I stumbled upon the words from a fellow blogger while considering the reason that my mind chants not until I am thin, instead of now- just as I am! The blogger from the shapely prose did a post on the Fantasy of Being Thin
Because, you see, the Fantasy of Being Thin is not just about becoming small enough to be perceived as more acceptable. It is about becoming an entirely different person – one with far more courage, confidence, and luck than the fat you has. It’s not just, “When I’m thin, I’ll look good in a bathing suit”; it’s “When I’m thin, I will be the kind of person who struts down the beach in a bikini, making men weep.” See also:
- When I’m thin, I’ll have no trouble finding a partner/reinvigorating my marriage.
- When I’m thin, I’ll have the job I’ve always wanted.
- When I’m thin, I won’t be depressed anymore.
- When I’m thin, I’ll be an adventurous world traveler instead of being freaked out by any country where I don’t speak the language and/or the plumbing is questionable.
- When I’m thin, I’ll become really outdoorsy.
- When I’m thin, I’ll be more extroverted and charismatic, and thus have more friends than I know what to do with.
Et cetera, et cetera. Those are examples from my personal Fantasy of Being Thin
She the goes on to say why letting go of those thin fantasies may be difficult.
Overcoming The Fantasy of Being Thin might be the hardest part of making it all the way into fat acceptance-land. And that might just be why I’d pushed that part of the process out of my memory: it fucking sucked. Because I didn’t just have to accept the size of my thighs; I had to accept who I am, rather than continuing to wait until I magically became the person I’d always imagined being. Ouch.That is, of course, a pretty normal part of getting older. You start to realize that yeah, this actually is it, and although you can still try enough new things to keep anyone busy for two lifetimes, you’re pretty much stuck with a basic context. There are skills, experiences, and material things you will almost certainly never have, period. It’s a challenge for all of us to understand that accepting this fact of life does not necessarily mean cutting off options or giving up dreams, but simply — as in the proverbial story about the creation of the David — chipping away all that is not you. But for a fat person, it can be even harder, because so many fucking sources encourage us to believe that inside every one of us is “a thin person waiting to get out” — and that thin person is SO MUCH COOLER.
I have thought before that maybe I use the- not until I am thin, as an excuse to not fail at something or even a way to associate failure as not with them but with being fat, so I totally get what the blogger from the Shapely Prose was coming from in her thin fantasy. I agree that fat acceptance, for those that are fat, means also letting go of the idea that life is going to be so much better when they are thin. Yes, there will be improvement in some aspects of a person’s life but you will still have stress, your kids will still ignore your pleas to pick-up after themselves, the laundry will still pile up, your hair will still have a mind of its own, you will not be better at remembering jokes or names, traffic will still suck, and you will still have failures….So maybe you are as cool as you will ever be. Like the movie- Maybe this is as good as it gets! With that in mind- my focus is not only going to be eating healthy but living and loving myself now- just as I am- not as I hope to be. I can only hope that is what I see reflected back when my daughter mirrors me.
To find out more about the kimkins scam and how the kimkins diet is dangerous read the overview by Laura Dolson at about.com entitled –The Kimkins Diet Controversy .My blogroll also contains some wonderful blogs that cover the Kimkins scam and the pending class action lawsuit. If you want to learn what you can do to help then take a look at the weed pulling of articles that the blogger of Say “No” to Kimkins suggests in “Help Us Pull The Weeds”.